When What You Think Is the Answer Isn't the Answer at All

How one person's discontent and misery has knock-on effect

Creative Commons License: Ian Muttoo from Mississauga, Canada, CC BY-SA 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

Greetings, Outsiders —

What a pleasure to be back and functioning. Both my mother and I got flattened by the flu, one after the other, which meant there was a whole lot of sleeping but not much in the way of writing happening around here.

The good news? My shoulder is on the mend, and I can type for short bouts of time without it aching, which means I can be more consistent here. What a relief not to have to rely on others to get things done any longer. One thing I’ve learned is that I can formulate my thoughts much better when it’s my fingers that are dancing across the keyboard as opposed to someone else’s on my behalf.

For those who were familiar with my writing on Medium a couple of years back, I’d like to return to a similar style. Some articles about people/ideas, movements, and important events, and some about observations and thoughts I’ve been chewing on. The latter can serve as a bridge for the former, and vice-versa.

So, here we go. This article ties in with the next few I’ve got planned for you.

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Being laid up for as long as I have, I’ve had far too much time on my hands. One of the few things I have on my plate is to go to appointments with my physical therapist and surgeon. Since I’m not yet back to driving—out of sheer caution—I spend a whole lot of time staring out the car window for quite a while. Going from the do-er (driver) to the observer (passenger), I’ve noticed something is afoot in my small town and the surrounding areas, and even more so in the large town where my appointments are.

The great takeover has begun.

That’s right: people from the Tri-State area—that’s New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut for those who aren’t from these parts—have started moving in. My relatively quiet slice of rural bliss has officially been discovered. Correction: people from the aforementioned states often passed through here, but never gave it a second thought, other than to grab a bite or cup of coffee on their way elsewhere. Oh, how things have changed. Unfortunately, calls to a few realtors confirmed the above and said most of their clients plan to use them as “country homes” or “summer homes.” Read: a 2nd or 3rd houses that they don’t need and will leave locked up for most of the year.

“Sale Pending” signs are being posted almost as soon as the “For Sale” signs are going up in the front yards of old homes. What happened in many places in the US during the COVID lockdowns is happening here. Land lots that have sat for sale for ages are now being cleared and foundations for McMansions are being poured. It’s all a bit out of touch and out of tune with the place. And there’s nothing I can do about it. Short of winning the lottery—and since I don’t buy tickets that would be a rather difficult feat—I can’t afford to conserve any much more land than I already have.

I got to thinking about people’s tendency to do such things and the motivations behind them.

My conclusion is that it’s due to discontentment—whether subconscious or conscious— with the lives they’ve created for themselves, and may even stem from anxiety fueled by the fast-paced, demanding nature of their daily lives.

By buying a piece of paradise—it’s my idea of paradise, at least—they get the illusion of achieving something and being able to escape their lives. Sure, they can get away on a whim now, but they could already do that. It’s called an inn or bed and breakfast. But no.

Somehow buying a place in another state will make everything OK.

Yes, it may give them the dopamine hits they crave, but quite frankly, like most of these types, they’ll get bored with the place and their visits will become less and less frequent. But they’ll hold onto the property anyway, instead of selling or renting it to a local at a reasonable amount.

Locals are quickly being priced out of the market. It seems to be the plague of the 21st century—bound to spread to every corner of the beautiful country.

Of course, this is nothing new. But for this small corner of the East Coast, it is.

As I wrote in an article on Medium a few years back: if we consciously created lives for ourselves that are full of deep meaning and satisfaction, we wouldn’t have the allow our internal chaos to create chaos for others through over-consumption—extra houses, cars, etc. Often, people who “need” vacations—to vacate their lives—actually just need to strip away the dross that likely infiltrated every aspect of their existence: physically, mentally, emotionally, and materially.

To be fair: when people are not at peace with themselves, it’s next to impossible for them to consider the well-being of others (strangers included) when they make such big decisions. To expect or hope otherwise is probably insane of me.

In my experience, the more comfortable I became with myself and the more I let go of ambition, my way of being and interacting with the world and the people (and creatures) in it changed. I don’t need much to be happy. And what I consider to be fun simplified itself over the years. Most of which involve little to no money and nature.

The great characters/souls I’ll be writing about in the next couple of articles speak to this in their own ways. They embodied the wisdom of simplicity and their lives were proof that most of the solutions we need can only be found by those who are willing to stop doing and observe. Their lives offer us inspiration for different ways of being, so we don’t bumble through this life unconsciously reacting and doing things without reflecting on the why and diminishing the quality of others’ lives in the process.

Ultimately, if we do one thing with our time on this planet, it should be to create meaningful and enjoyable lives that give us peace.

After all, we are the solution.

We always have been.

Someone living consciously and intentionally with joy is contagious, even if it’s the impetus for only one other person’s transformation. Live by example. It has a knock-on effect, friends.

It does, it does, it does.